a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
