College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
