you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
