I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
