So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
