yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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