Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
