Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize