She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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