i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I have post one night stand depression
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