I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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