ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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