im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
