saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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