Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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