Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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