I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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