She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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