Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My dick has a subreddit
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
