it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
