You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
