Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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