this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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