Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
