a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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