careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
