When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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