I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
