i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
