i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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