I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
they need to just BURY HIM!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
