I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize