Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My dick has a subreddit
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
