this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
