You're completely useless in the revolution.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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