I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
