Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
