Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
