Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize