i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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