i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
