Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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