You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
