I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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