I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The ass gains better be worth it
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