did you get engaged???
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
