My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
