This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
