apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
