He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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