4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
