god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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