your room smells of hookers.
And success
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
