My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
