i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Randomize
