You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Banned from zoo.
Again?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
