can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
