One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Send help, water and tortillas.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
