"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
