Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize