How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
