I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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