Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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