I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
