half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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