Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
