He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
