Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
