I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize