I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
