those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
