I think my vagina is haunted
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
