i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
my shit smells like andre
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
