Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
