He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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