would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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