I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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