You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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