She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
