So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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