Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
