I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
